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| StarWarsHelmets.com features the VERY BEST
helmets and costumes that have ever been created - from all over the
World. However where there is Light, there is Dark. Wherever there is
Beauty............
..There is sheer unadulterated pain, flatulence and
ugliness!!!
This page is a light-hearted look at helmets and
costumes which didn't quite make the grade. And before anyone starts
bleating let me just say that I know that anything that's fan-made
has probably had a lot of work done on it and I respect anyone who has the
time and patience to produce their own props rather than throwing cash at
it!
However this page is about the funny-side of our hobby. Such as: Dodgy
costumes, dumb auctions, Stormtrooper falling over etc. etc. etc. So this
page is NOT about bashing but more showing that we all need a laugh so I'm
looking for anything that will prompt a grin - hopefully
with
the person featured rather than
at
them.
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| First up - me, courtesy 1979.
A Don Post Mask, cereal box with some absolutely non screen-accurate
blinky lights, cassette boxes on an ex-army belt and a bed-sheet dyed
black and some motorcycle gloves. There's probably some Lego in there
somewhere too.
Next - Be afraid, be very afraid! |
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| Imagine yourself in the Jutland
Wastes - home of the vicious Tusken Raiders, one of the most
dangerous creatures in the galaxy. Then this little chap pops his head up!!
Ass wipes not even got a Gaffi stick - move along!
Thanks to TuskenTrooper for finding this one |
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| Next up below is one of the Empire's feared foot
soldiers - The Imperial Stormtrooper. Thanks to Bowjunkie for finding this
little beauty.... |
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It looks like someone's just sucked the crap outta him! |
| Next up below is his bigger
brother. These shots sent to me by Aiwai from Norway it looks like the
creator's gone for a similar "cardboard box and drainpipe"
styling |
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At Least he looks happy! I dunno, there's something about those mic
tips that just isnt right! |
| ..and below Aiwai's sent me another
from the same creator who can I just say "Kudos to" for putting
effort well beyond the call of duty in on this little beauty....
This time its the Dark Lord of the Piss - sorry Sith. |
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| ON the subject of Vader, Thomas
from the NEG has sent me the following which I believe may well be an
early sculpt for the Episode 3 design... It looks like its made of tar. |
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left, here's an on-set photo from Episode 3.5, provisionally titled
"Screaming Trooper Fags From Hell" this shot
showing the new Imperial CampTrooper.
Nice to see he's got his Bitch with him.
Cheers to Chaucer for the pic! |
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This next one is great - against its been sent in by
Thomas from the NEG its by boneboy (www.boneboy.com) and he's gone
for a self-styled "Dagobah decapitated Vader"
kind-of-look using a cheapo cut up Don Post mask and a bit of creative
thought - Awesome! |
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| Next - picture yourself on
Tattooine - and the scene as Jabba's beautiful dancer loses his
favour and falls into the Rancor pit.
Oh alright then, don't...... |
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| Thanks to Aiwai again for finding
this little beauty. |
| ..and back to Vader again (why does
everyone pick on him?) - Thanks to jt001 for this...... |
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It looks more like GonzoVader to me |
| Aiwei's sent me a few more shots
he's been searching out, including this Tusken raider which is actually
really quite good apart from its HUGE jaw! On the right there's some chick
dressed up as an R2 - WTF!. |
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..and below the same R2 (minus legs) with his buddy. I
actually quite like these two! |
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| Below a rare shot from the original
(non politically correct) 1980 Spanish version of The Empire Strikes Back
which suggested a certain Latino background for the man in black. |
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| ...and below a fat woman dressed as
Wonder Woman. If anyone has pics of her dressed as RotJ Slave Leia then
please DON'T send them to me - just burn 'em. |
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| (shudder!) Now that is scary!.
GeordieTrooper sent me these two Stormtroopers. The one on the left looks
like he's got a marshmallow on his head and the one on the right looks
like another Camptrooper in an alternative version of ANH when the troopers
move in on Docking Bay '94 "oooooh Stop that bitch - slap him".
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| ...and Geordietrooper's also sent
me these pics below from his new book "Costuming and the hidden
talents of Cardboard". Rob - you're a baaaad man! |
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| I just love the look on the face of
the little lad, as if to say "What the freaking hell are YOU two
supposed to be, I mean pink socks. PINK?". Cy_trooper's the
wicked man who sent this although Wolf from CA's just told me its Nicky and
Will - shame on you! |
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| Above, Dean P sent me these pics.
I'm not sure whether I prefer the startled looking Tusken or maybe the
Boussh who's just about to be arrested (clearly illustrating the point
that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should!)
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Now this next one I just love. "Hey why is everyone one
laughing at me......". Actually to be fair this is EXACTLY the
sort of mistake I would make! Thanks to Tommi S for this pic. |
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| And below this pic sent by
Red Otter this Biker Scout found on ebay. and next to him. On the right is
a VERY special one, We believe this MAY have been one of the 1st ever
original Stormtrooper helmets. Made by George Lucas when he was just 2 years
old! |
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| Respect to both these guys as their
ebay auction was a LOT of fun to read (it had 4540 hits!). Mucho respect
also to the guy who shelled out $34.27 to buy the
little beauty. I expect the guy on the right is thinking now what his beauty
is worth now! Thanks to Kent and John for the Pics. Keep your eye open for
another "original" Stormtrooper Helmet on ebay! |
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| I suggest you look away now if
you've a weak heart..... Its another self made Jabba the Hut |
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| Part of me respects these guys that
they're willing to take time out to create something.
But then another part of me looks at the photos and screams out
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!!!!"
Below, obligatory shots of Jabba (tongue out) with Slave Chicks. |
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Nooooooo, my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Blame Michael
for these, he sent me the pics, I'm only showing them.
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Now I jus' LOVE these next ones. Its pics of Jeff V's
Halloween Vader costume |
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| Now Jeff would have us believe that
they're from 1978 when he was six years old........ But don't believe a
word of it - I know for a FACT that they were taken LAST YEAR at the
Big Beaver Lick (Kentucky) 2004 Halloween Hoedown. Jeff, you
may have won First prize but you're 33 for cryin' out loud - its about time
you got yourself a better costume - midget or not! |
This next one from Matt I really love.....Its Death Star
Man!
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| Below, several people sent me this
one including Ed and Gus - Its currently on ebay so be quick! |
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| The use of a cash register on his
chest is an interesting idea! While we're on the subject Aiwei's
sent in this picture of Darth Bin-Bag |
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| .....and a very depressed
looking Stormtrooper. His mate on the right "Jeez - you just farted
didn't you? What you been eating - smells like a dead Dog" |
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| Above a "Helmet" which recently
appeared on Ebay, with photo in "Action Pose". Holger's sent me this
picture below of Dog Vader. Interesting I never realised Vader's cape was
that colour. Sam's sent this pic in of Boba Fett's younger brother, Boba
Crap. |
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| Below, nine year old Corey sent me
this of his new Tusken Raider helmet... I think this one was actually scrren-used.. |
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| Stephen N sent me this next one. It
was on eBay and not bad when you first look at it.... |
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| Until you read the small print
"Due to size and weight it will be unassembled prior
to shipping but will be supplied with a set of custom printed building
instructions." So basically you get a bag of bricks!. Next up
from Droopy McCool something that worries me may be the figment of his
(cough) sexual fantasies.... |
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| I'm sure Freud would have quite a
lot to say about that! Cheers to Marcus too. |
| ...While in a similar vein - I just
LOVE this Ebay auction for an MR saber. Good to see the sellers keeping
abreast (ouch - sorry) of all new sales techniques. Cheers Chris.
WHAT A WAY TO GET THE BUYERS ATTENTION!!! |
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| ...I need a cold shower. Back on
track another Stormtrooper helmet that looks like it was left out in the sun
too long - aaaaah. I think he needs mouth braces. This one's from Tommi. |
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| ..and finally (for now) Doug H and
his 1978 Vader costume (so I suppose given it was THAT long ago he's got an
excuse). We dig the groovy chick and the hanging baskets although not so
sure why Vader's PURPLE! |
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Here's Steve L's Vader from 1977 - love those Sun Glasses! |
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| Above a pic of Orvie and friend
(who appears to be a bear with a lipstick belt!) |
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| The "Disco Idiots in
Stormtrooper Suits" dept. called earlier. They say they want their
"special" patient back. Thanks to Julie for this! I like the Michael Jackson
"groin hold" in particular, eeeeeh heee! |
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| Now this one probably shouldn't be
in the Room of Doom since its actually quite good - in a Lego Star Wars
kind of "good". Its Spongebob's cardboard Stormtrooper and I think he
should go into production! Apparently Kenner were on the verge of
producing an action figure |
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Help - get me outta
here! |
